Monday, July 14, 2008

The Silence Begins...

Have you ever not asked God for something because you’re afraid you might get it? I have.

There are times that I hesitate to pray for humility or patience. Not that I don’t want them, but it’s just that I don’t want the lessons that go along with receiving them. That’s right. God doesn’t just snap His fingers and make us magically humble and giving. Nope…He likes to teach us how to be humble by snatching our pride out from under us. No pretty paintings; no magical fairy dust. Just a lesson that is often hard to swallow. But the lesson does its job. We don’t take that gift for granted when we’ve experienced a situation to get there. We are more able to see the grace of God by having Him walk us through the storms rather than avoiding the storms altogether and ending up on the other side in the clearing. We become more dependent on Him. We draw closer to Him. Our witness grows.

I have avoided asking at times because I was afraid. It is the fallen side of humanity coming out in me. It is a lack of trust in God to see me through. It is fear of the unknown, although I know He holds the universe in His hand. It is wrong. Plain and simple. I fail.

This blog emerges because I cannot be silenced by fear. I have hesitated in starting it in fear of what could start happening to me if I write those things that I feel inspired to share. You see, I have been wanting and needing to write this for weeks now…possibly months. I feel inspired by God to share things with an unknown audience and the only thing that has stopped me to this point is this fact: When we start working for God, we draw the attention of Satan who is working to prevent the advancement of God’s kingdom. When he sees people drawing to God’s word and plan, he begins trying to demolish the source. That’s scary to me. He’s pretty powerful. He’s downright scary.

However, my God is bigger and more powerful than Satan, and He is holy. He will not give me any weight I cannot bear. He will not allow this enemy to take me. I will hold to Him.

And so, I begin silencing the very stones that might cry out in my stead if I don't proclaim His glory.

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