My Choices Were Influenced by WHO?!

Take a moment. Think of your 3-5 closest friends from high school.

Where are they now?

Do you even know where they are living or anything about them?

Do you talk to them now once a week or more? I am not talking about just surface level "my dog just ate my remote" on Facebook. I'm talking about real conversations. Are they still your friend or are they more of an acquaintance?

You see, those people who were once so very important to us and who so strongly influenced what we did, who we thought we were, or what we believed are typically no longer in the picture.

Isn't it strange how me make choices as a teenager that can forever alter our lives, and those choices are influenced by people who will not be around to see us live with those consequences.

Kinda' makes you wonder why you listened to them. I wish we could convince today's teenagers of this.

The Story of Zac Smith

Just wanted to update this post and note that Zac died on 05/16/10. I pray his family and friends know peace while missing this inspirational man.

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Question on Injustice

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”

“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”

“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

(Anonymous) -a quote from A Hole in the Gospel, by Richard Stearn, President of World Vision.
___________________________________________________

This was an eye-opening quote that I read yesterday. Please go read the remainder of the post where I saw it.

The First Step Is...

...admitting it. Or at least that's what I've always heard. And there must be some validity in that because after admitting that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next, I received inspiration.

I have a new series of posts coming up on spiritual gifts. I hope it will be educational, insightful, stirring, and helpful in all of us finding out better what God wants us to do.

Right now it's just a plan floating around in my head, but my research has already begun and it seems to be coming together nicely. God is awesome, you know?

So, stay tuned...it starts on Monday!

Hurry Up and Wait

It has been forever. I know. I would apologize, but I haven't felt very inspired to write over here and frankly, I would rather just wait until inspired than to fill this blog with mindless drivel just for the sake of posting something.

The talk lately is of resolutions. What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to do differently? Who do you want to be? It's a fresh opportunity to start over, you know.

I hate new year's resolutions. I think I just hate the principle of them. Why not change because we truly feel a need to change? Why does a new year bring about a reason to change? Maybe that's why I'm not very good at keeping resolutions.

And I'm not very good with making changes.

Don't get me wrong. I make them frequently. My problem lies more in sticking with them.

You see, I'm easily influenced. Give me a good emotional story, a good heart-warming tale, a good fuzzy memory, and I'm likely to buy whatever you're selling me. This is evident in the fact that we own a timeshare that we're currently trying to sell.

Too often I hear pleas to help somewhere or do something different. I hear stories that inspire me to want to be a better person. I jump on the emotional bandwagon and then when the newness wears off, I feel disappointed and ashamed that I no longer want to work for this goal...especially when I can see that it truly is a worthy cause or a wise goal.

Then I begin to wonder if it was me that God was speaking to or did I just assume that? If God did speak to me, am I now letting Him down by falling away from it? What does He want from me?

And you know...I'm just not sure.

Sure I know I'm supposed to be a good wife and helpmate for Chip. Yes, I know I am to bring up my children in the ways of the Lord. Those are "givens." What else does He want me to do?

Volunteer for children's ministry? Did that...liked it...but it doesn't seem to fit into our life right now. Write on this blog? Did that...liked it...haven't felt like I've had much to say in a while. Sign up for a women's Bible study? Did that...liked it...can't seem to get into the groove again though.

What is it that God wants from me? I have no idea. That's my problem. I really need to be still and listen. So that is my goal for now...to wait on Him. To see what He opens up for me. To rely on Him to establish the timing for what He needs me to do. To hopefully grow in Him more than I dreamed possible.

Until then, I'll be waiting I guess.

Whiny Brats

Since becoming a parent I have had more revelations about God than in my previous 26 years. Could it be that I am more mature spiritually and emotionally and therefore more observant? Maybe. Could it be that now that I am raising children that I am SEEKING more revelations from God? Very possibly.

However, I have another, more likely, theory.

I think it has to do with the fact that I now how someone to look at in the way that He looks at me. Someone who I love more than I can describe; someone who I truly want the best for; someone I never want to see hurt; someone I am teaching; someone I am holding on to; someone I have to let make his own mistakes; someone who I will love regardless of the mistakes he makes; someone I could not stop loving regardless of how much he ever hurt me; someone I would die for without second thought.

It's funny how we try to teach our children life lessons that we have a hard time dealing with ourselves.

The most recent example is an everyday occurrance in the life of parents of a preschooler. He wants to do things with his own ideas and interests in mind. There are times that we are glad to let him explore and learn. There are times that we let him work it out alone because if we constantly get involved he will never learn to do things on his own. Then there are times when we say, "No!" We try to explain to him that we'd don't tell him "no" because we don't want him to have fun. We don't tell him "no" just because we get kicks out of doing it.

We tell him "no" because

• we can see the outcome of that decision and it will hurt him
• we can see the outcome and it could hurt someone else
• we can see the outcome and it is not a wise decision
• we have other plans for him to pursue that will result in his happiness

We tell him "no" because we have a better view from where we are (experience, more developed logic, etc).

And what does he do? He gets mad. He sometimes goes ahead with his plan anyway. And often when he proceeds, he says, "see, I didn't get hurt that time!"

But God's rules are just to make sure that no one gets hurt. And He can see a bigger picture than I can from His perspective. And because He knows what will truly make me happy.

But I still get mad. And sometimes I do it anyway. And sometimes I even say, "see, I didn't get hurt that time!"

So when I was scratching my head the other day over my son's refusal to listen to me and understand that I had his best interests in mind, my "why?!" was answered with an "Oh, yeah."

Photo credit

If you're here via the Carnival, thanks for stopping by. Sorry I'm in a bit of a writing rut, but I'm working on getting back into it. I got pretty burned out after writing this huge series. Anyway, hope you enjoy your stay.

If you're not visiting via the Carnival, go over to Brain Cramps for God and check out some awesome posts!

Cherokee Youth Ritual

I have no idea if this is factual, but it was a very touching email that was sent to me some time ago. I apologize if it is not accurate, but it is inspiring nonetheless:

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.


We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there. "For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~

What Was Jesus Actually Saying?

So, I have to make a comment about the video I posted yesterday. Yes, I like Stephen Colbert. Yes, I (sometimes) watch his show. He truly cracks me up. I have no idea what his personal relationship with Christ is, but he frequently makes Christian-centered comments and does not apologize for them. Since that really isn't a good way to be popular in mainstream media in America, I have to believe that he believes himself to be a Christian. It's really between him and God though.

Now, one thing that stood out to me during the interview was Bert Ehrman's use of the crucifixion stories as defense of his argument. I agree that none of the gospels tell the exact same story, but I've never really had a problem with that. If four people witness a lecture of any topic, they will all remember different points that stood out in their minds as informative, important, or just mind-provoking. I feel this is the same thing with this particular historical and spiritually monstrous event. One of the scriptures he used in his defense stood out to me.

A few Easters ago, the pastor at the church we were attending did a series of the "Seven Sayings of Jesus from the Cross" leading up to Easter Sunday. It was quite informative, I remember, and I was caught up in every detail he was teaching. However, only one of those sermons stuck with me for the next 3 (I think?) years...the one concerning "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)

I had always read it for what it said and taken it for Jesus being in pain and bearing the weight of our sin and enduring the hardship of taking on a physical body to save our miserable selves. There was suddenly a new perspective after this particular sermon though.

Let me preface this by saying that yes...Jesus must have been in terribly excruciating pain. He was not happy about his current situation although He was there willingly. Maybe God did have to turn His back on His Son for a short time because Jesus became sin. Maybe Jesus did feel abandoned. If God had turned His head for those moments, it must have been terribly lonely for Jesus who was enduring not only the physical anguish, but spiritual and emotional anguish for being apart from His Father for the first time. That all makes sense. I won't deny that was happening.

However, maybe either separately or in addition to those things, something else more profound was happening.

Maybe Jesus was telling His followers (and those who were just onlookers) something along the lines of, "Remember who I am."

How so?

Well, He was quoting scripture.

You must remember that the Bible had not been compiled in its current form so there were no chapters and verses to quote scripture by. The psalms were a well-known, often-recited collection of poems that were not organized in any real order. The Jewish people knew them, typically, by the first line of the Psalm itself. For instance, the 23rd Psalm was known as "The Lord is My Shepherd" psalm and so forth.

Did you know that Psalm 22 starts with the very words "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" Everyone of the Jewish faith looking on would know this. Maybe His words were meant to bring their attention back to these words. Why would He do that? Lets look at the prophecy contained within those verses (the highlighted items are evidence that things are occurring to Jesus just as David's psalm declared):

Psalm 22
To the Chief Musician. Set to “The Deer of the Dawn." A Psalm of David.

1 My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?
Why are You so far from helping Me, And from the words of My groaning?
2 O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear;
And in the night season, and am not silent.
3 But You are holy,
Enthroned in the praises of Israel.
4 Our fathers trusted in You;
They trusted, and You delivered them.
5 They cried to You, and were delivered;
They trusted in You, and were not ashamed.
6 But I am a worm, and no man;
A reproach of men, and despised by the people.
7 All those who see Me ridicule Me;
They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying
8 “He trusted in the LORD, let Him rescue Him;
Let Him deliver Him, since He delights in Him!”
9 But You are He who took Me out of the womb;
You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts.
10 I was cast upon You from birth.
From My mother’s womb
You have been My God.
11 Be not far from Me,
For trouble is near;
For there is none to help.
12 Many bulls have surrounded Me;
Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled Me
13 They gape at Me with their mouths,
Like a raging and roaring lion.
14 I am poured out like water,
And all My bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It has melted within Me.
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
And My tongue clings to My jaws;
You have brought Me to the dust of death.
16 For dogs have surrounded Me;
The congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me.
They pierced My hands and My feet;
17 I can count all My bones.
They look and stare at Me.
18 They divide My garments among them,
And for My clothing they cast lots.
19 But You, O LORD, do not be far from Me;
O My Strength, hasten to help Me!
20 Deliver Me from the sword,
My precious life from the power of the dog.
21 Save Me from the lion’s mouth
And from the horns of the wild oxen!
You have answered Me.
22 I will declare Your name to My brethren;
In the midst of the assembly I will praise You.
23 You who fear the LORD, praise Him!
All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him,
And fear Him, all you offspring of Israel!
24 For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted;
Nor has He hidden His face from Him;
But when He cried to Him, He heard.
25 My praise shall be of You in the great assembly;
I will pay My vows before those who fear Him.
26 The poor shall eat and be satisfied;
Those who seek Him will praise the LORD.
Let your heart live forever!
27 All the ends of the world
Shall remember and turn to the LORD,
And all the families of the nations
Shall worship before You.
28 For the kingdom is the LORD’s,
And He rules over the nations.
29 All the prosperous of the earth
Shall eat and worship;
All those who go down to the dust
Shall bow before Him,
Even he who cannot keep himself alive.
30 A posterity shall serve Him.
It will be recounted of the Lord to the next generation,
31 They will come and declare His righteousness to a people who will be born,
That He has done this.

So, my personal conclusion, which others also share is this: yes, He most definitely was in deep anguish in ways that we will never understand. However, I think that in His final moments before death, He was still bringing the message that He was God's Son...He was making it clear, that He was the long awaited one. He was still about His Father's business.

Prayers Needed

I have a request for any/all who might actually read this blog.

There is a young man who was part of the inspiration for all of my postings regarding the LDS church. He was a missionary for the LDS church who I spoke with and defended my faith to.

He is currently thinking of leaving the LDS church. He wants to take time away to really look at things and think about things. He has a lot of questions and he's frustrated at the lack of answers he's getting from people he trusts.

His family is quite unhappy. They have told him that they would disown him if he leaves the church.

I can't imagine having to make that decision.

Please pray for him. Pray for his family to see the error of their ways (of desiring to disown him if he choose to leave). Pray that God will guide him to the truth. Pray that God will give him the strength to make whatever decisions he has to in order to follow God's plan for his life.

Also, know that he has been offered a place to stay to get things straightened out if he has no where else to go by a friend of mine.

His name is Nathan, and he needs our support right now.

Another Update

Last night was the second night of visits from Mormon missionaries. They came the first time last Wednesday and then again last night.

I will start by admitting that I didn't nearly bathe the event in prayer as much as the first encounter. I realized that God was with me during the first encounter and truly speaking through me. Why I didn't pray as much about it, I don't know. Was it my own pride? Was it just trust that God would be with me as He had been? Either way, the preparation was not the same and as the time got nearer for them to arrive, I began to get nervous about that. Not about their visit, but about the fact that I had not treated it as cautiously as the first. I confessed this to God and asked that despite my utter failure to bring it to Him faithfully, if He would please just be with us, protect us, and guide us.

Once last night was over, I didn't feel the "high" that I had felt on the previous visit. The previous visit showed obvious signs (to me) that God had spoken through me and hit some nerves. This time I didn't have that "accomplished" feeling. I had rather a stale feeling. I felt guilty that I had not my part to uphold my end of the witness. Although I tried, I was quite concerned that the right words or sentiments had not come out of my mouth. I had done too much work and not let God do enough.

This morning when I spoke with my co-worker who brought them, I was shocked. They were left speechless regarding some of the issues that we covered. Mainly over the fact that the Book of Mormon has had numerous (seriously...almost 4000) changes over the last 170 years. They stated that many of those were punctuation type things, which is true, but they were completely unaware of some of the major doctrinal changes from the original text. The last question they left me with was if I thought Joseph Smith was a liar. Unfortunately, although I answered that I did, there was no time to defend that because of the time that they had to go home. On the ride home, it was obvious to my co-worker that they were completely unaware of the doctrinal changes to their holy book.

So I have requested at least one more visit with them so that I can show them these changes. I don't want to force anything on them, as the decision is theirs to make. However, I want them to make an educated decision. They are VERY educated in the things that their church has told them, but completely ignorant of the more questionable workings of their church. I think that if they are going to be defending this faith, they need to be aware of what they are defending. And if they decide not to defend it any more, then one more for the Home Team. =)

Once again, I promise that I plan to do a large review of all of the information I have learned during my quest for info about the Mormon faith. This is huge information that anyone who has a Mormon knocking on their door needs to be aware of. I've just got to find the time to really put it all down together, and now my time needs to be spent soaking myself in the Word as well as preparing information for the guys that I'm currently speaking to.

Keep praying for me, please!

The Time Draws Near

Okay, so the big day is this upcoming Wednesday evening. I have been studying and prepping myself because frankly, I'm scared. I'm worried that I won't live up to what He deserves me to be, but I feel called to do it and I keep telling myself that I can do all things through Him.

Breathe in, breathe out.

On an interesting (possible) turn of events, it seems that one of the Mormon missionaries might be going through a faith crisis of his own. Maybe this is the reason why they are coming? We'll see. I'm leaving it up to God.

Keep praying. I need it!

Some Thoughts to Ponder

Sorry I've been silent on here as of late. I am working on something really important that I hope to be able to talk about on here soon. In the meantime, I will leave you with a couple of thoughts that I encountered last night at my Bible study (we're doing Beth Moore's Believing God and it is AWESOME!):

An unchallenged faith is an unchanging faith.

God is who He says He is regardless of what we believe about Him.

When we've began to think that God makes sense and make Him common, we've been deceived because God is bigger and more than anything we can comprehend.

We should not create God (in our minds) to be in the image of man.

Sorry this is short, but I've gotta' get back to studying for my big project. I'll talk more later (and not so elusively...but it's a lot to explain and I don't have the time at the moment. Just pray for me--that I'll be the light that God wants me to be).

Project Underway

I am working on a project, and I need your prayers. A good friend of mine is currently searching...and I am so worried that he is getting awfully far down a really dangerous road in his search. I am workly quietly biulding my arms reserve while quietly remaining his friend and answering any faith-based questions that come up...as well as prompting some myself.

I want to have answers and be able to show him the error of what he is currently investigating. Not that he himself is a project, but the research required to be prepared is really thorough and necessary.

Pray for guidance from God so that I may point him to the Truth in love and without pushing him away. I would also like the chance to talk with (and hopefully influence) the people leading him down this path--but I will need much more ammunition for that task.

Where Have I Been?

Have you noticed that this blog hasn't been very active? Before I started it, I felt that I had so much to say...so many things to talk about and to post. Now that the blog has been born, I seem to be at a loss for words most of the time.

Is this God trying to tell me that this isn't what He wanted me to do?

Was it my own egotism that felt that I have enough to say on behalf of my beliefs?

Is this Satan trying to keep me quiet?


Frankly, I don't have an answer. I wish I did.

Please pray for me and for guidance for this blog. I want to move...I don't want to sit still, but it seems I'm at a loss for words.

GIVE ME WORDS TO SPEAK
by Aaron Shust

Calloused and bruised
dazed and confused
My Spirit is left wanting something more
Than my selfish hopes
and my selfish dreams
I’m lying with my face down to the floor
I’m crying out for more

Give me Words to speak
Don’t let my Spirit sleep
Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me Words to speak
Don’t let my Spirit sleep

Every night
every day
I find that I have nothing I can say
So I stand here in silence
awaiting Your guidance
I’m wanting only Your voice to be heard
Let them be Your Words

I just don’t understand this life that I’ve been living
I just don’t understand (x2)

I just don’t understand these lies I’ve been believing
I just don’t understand (x2)

Give me Words to speak
Don’t let my Spirit sleep
Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me Words to speak
Don’t let my Spirit sleep