So, we'll have to go at this without the pretty little graphic.
So this week I had a reality check. I was attending the Beth Moore Bible study that we're doing at church and on the video Beth was discussing leaving a spiritual legacy for your children. Well, the Holy Spirit must have been talking to me because the message I got out of her saying that had nothing to do with the point she was trying to make.
I had an eye-opener though. I got to thinking about how Patrick would view my Christian walk. I wanted to be a Christian mom and guide to him and not someone who is a Christian some of the time. You see, there are times that I get frustrated at Patrick. Really frustrated. I know...we all get frustrated at our children because, well, they are frustrating creatures sometimes. However, I had a memory of a recent example that I yelled at him. Not raised my voice, but yelled. He looked crushed and although my heart broke at his expression, I was no less frustrated about the situation. That's when I realized that my Christian example would not hold as much water if I were yelling at this precious gift that God gave me.
Sure, it's fine for Chrsitians to be mad, but I was not expressing my anger in a Christian manner, or even an effective manner. I ended up hurting his feelings more that I was expressing why I angry.
So, I am resolved to only express my anger to him in a healthy constructive manner from now forward. I want him to remember me not as someone who yelled at him when I was mad, but as someone who firmly disciplined him while loving him all along. I don't want to leave a legacy of anger, but one of control.
This most likely will not be easy. I've been doing great since this past Tuesday, but only 3 days have past. Can I keep it up? Will I falter? I need strength to keep this up and break the habit. Everyday I must choose to handle these situations with the right attitude and control regardless of my emotions surrounding the situation. Until this because part of my character though, I ask you to pray for strength for me in this effort.
What do you have to lay down today? Do you have a situation that needs prayer? Do you hold on to your "ways of the flesh" more than we are called to do? Leave a link to your site telling us what you are in need of prayer for or leave a comment. We all need to be lifting up each other in prayer so we can make our time on this earth as Christ-like as possible.
4 comments:
Kaye,
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I agree that we all should be slower to show our anger, especially with our children, but anger is a God given emotion. I don’t know how old your Partick is but the better lesson may lie in not suppressing your emotions but in expressing them, as I am sure you are trying, in a more Christ like way.
Lets not forget that He drove out the money changers. I hardly think Christ took a moment to explain to all around that he was mad at their actions and not at them. Of course He was angry at “them”! How may time do we read in the Scriptures of how Gods anger burned against someone or some people. He is the same God then and now. It sounds nice to say that God hates the sin and not the sinner, the fact is the sinner is going to hell along with the sin. I need to step back away from this subject before I start a new Denomination.
I think we often forget that Jesus was also 100% human.
The fact is your going to loose your temper. When you do the better lesson is available, the best lesson for Patrick will be in your willingness to admit the mistake to him and ask his forgiveness. I’m not suggesting you don’t already, I’m sure your already doing this.
In our walk before our families and the lost our voice is much louder when we mess up, admit it and ask forgiveness then when we seemingly make no mistakes.
We can’t spend out lives counting the days since we last messed up and waiting for the next time. There is no freedom in resisting while wondering how long you can resist the temptation to…… whatever it is. This is just another trap of our enemy to keep us in bondage to something.
Wrap your arms around Partick tell him you love him. Then trust the Holy Spirit with the rest of the day.
Bill,
You make a lot of good points and I appreciate your insight. They certainly make me feel better about the situation.
I know that anger is normal and appropriate at times. I just want to handle it as anger and not as hysteria. I want him to know what the problem is and not just that mommy is yelling.
I'll also admit that I am trying to not be mad at him for things beyond his control...meaning that I don't last out at him just because I've had a bad day and something he is doing is grating on my nerves more than it ordinarily would.
Thank you for the support and the kind words. You offer a lot of good arguments.
First Thanks so much for your comment. I miss you too. I will have to admit that this has been such a nice break for me. I still check the blogger news about twice a week. Of course, I check your blog first!
Second, I completely relate to your post! I have had this same frustration over the last week. I feel into a terrible state of "funk" Monday and Tuesday because I felt like a horrible mother! My husband even sent me flowers to try and cheer me. Sometimes I just get so frustrated and I don't understand, as an adult with an adult mind, why a 3 year old can't seem to understand what I tell her or just completely ignore what I say. Sometimes I could scream! So we can pray for each other over this issue.
Sheila...count on it.
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